Letters from our Members
Supporting the Ones that are left Behind
The appeal of the Army Widows' Association is flexibility; it means different things to different people. In essence it is a support network, communicating concern and information as and when required. Widows/ers can respond to the network in whatever way they wish, contributing, accessing or doing nothing... sometimes it is the comfort of knowing that there is someone there!
Widowhood is a status that few have considered and the system in many ways is not geared to easily accommodate widows of our age group. As young women /men, often supporting a young family, we have very different needs to elderly widows. We are not retired nor are we on a retirement pension. We still have to muddle our way through the rest of our lives the best way we know how; finding homes, requesting mortgages, gaining employment - and the AWA is there to lessen the struggle.
In the bewildering aftermath of bereavement the AWA is there as the voice of reason, a simple authority to point out the vital issues in a mountain of paperwork. Often commonsense facts, but ones that in a fog, you just had not had time to consider- pension rights, resettlement, welfare entitlements and making benefit claims. It is a double blow, losing your partner to then become aware of how complex the future appears. By its very nature the AWA is unique, as it is run by widows/ers and is there to compliment and guide the Army bereavement and welfare provision. The group monitors the consistency of care and is actively involved in partnership with the Army, highlighting issues, suggesting changes and assisting with training and policy. We have developed broad views of the common working practice of the army and the different agencies. They all say ‘Please just ask' but if you don't know what they do, how can you ask? The AWA helps fill in the blanks and explains the system.
The personal price of membership is high. We are all widows. Yet this tragedy has united us, straddling ranks and backgrounds-we are all equal. The final face of the AWA is the social support network, the emotional blanket. We are free to talk, laugh and cry without being judged. We share stories, secrets and discoveries; we can listen because we do understand. The AWA helps lift the burden of being different, of standing out in the social crowd.
- JM
Meeting another service widow changed my life for the better
She knew about pensions and felt the cause of my husband's death might mean I was eligible for both War Widows Pension and Attributable Pension. More awful form filling in concerning that dreadful day but she was right. I was awarded both (3 years after my husband's death), it makes a huge difference. Just meeting other army widows who understand what you have gone through has helped so much.
They really understand.
The boxes of tissues come out at our weekends at Amport House but so does the laughter. The horror of your husband's death never goes away but the AWA/Amport gives you strength to learn to live again, so important when you have a small child.
The AWA is a much needed support for today's army widow.
- AL
A New Start - Using the RFEA
I decided I had to go back to work. My husband died of an illness not yet accepted as being due to his service and so I have to prepare for the worst financial case and help provide for my 2 children, so I needed to decide what to do. Previously I had had all sorts of jobs with no real career - many of them working "on base", but one that wasn't was in Windsor when I had worked in the customer services section of a computer software company. I had really enjoyed it and thought I'd quite like to have the chance to get into computers now. So I enrolled on a computer course through Computeach via their website. It's a self-teaching system so I can work at home which is really convenient for the girls and Computeach give you lots of help and support before you go to do the exams at a local centre. At the end I hope to get a formal qualification that an employer would recognise and Computeach even help find you a job!
I had been to the first meeting at Amport House last year, and heard a lady called Gill say I might be able to get some money towards the cost of the course. So I spoke to my CVO about getting help with funding and he put me in touch with the local area representative for back to work help - it used to be called resettlement. I had already paid the fees for the course so when I sent my receipt to the Army they sent me some money back towards the course. He also keeps me in touch with any other resettlement courses happening in my area that maybe of interest to me.
Computeach is a great help and hopefully with the courses and the job-finding help I will be back to work soon. The course lasts as long as you need it to, but I've been finding it hard to juggle everything – so I am a bit behind - but the course is still there, so gradually I'm getting things in order and I am determined to get stuck in and hope that in 1 year to 18 months I'll become a fully qualified networking engineer.
- S
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