Army Widows Association

Books we have found useful

Books for Adults

Living on the Seabed - A Memoir of Love, Life and Survival by Lindsay Nicholson . Vermillion ISBN 009190015-8 £9.99

This is a very honest account of how Lindsay Nicholson (Editor of Good Housekeeping magazine) suffered the loss of her husband (he was only 36 years old) and then several years later the death of her eldest daughter from leukaemia. Lindsay was pregnant with her second daughter at the time of her husband's death. I cried my eyes out on reading her account of what had happened to her, her fight for survival and just how to manage everyday life. She is also very honest about moving on in her life and how, when she least expected it, the man who is now her second husband walked into her life. So many truths and offering advice which I found many parallels with. This is a powerful and emotional book. It may well make uncomfortable reading to anyone who has not suffered the loss of a very close relative at a young age.I could not put it down and finished it on the second day of reading at 1.30am She has proved not only to herself just how strong she could be but to others that she could survive to provide a life for herself and her daughter.

Michael Rosen's Sad Book : ISBN 0-7445-9898—2

Michael Rosen's comments about missing his son Eddie who died. Great pictures by Quentin Blake. All about moods, behaviour etc and how you feel. Possibly also suitable for older children and teenagers. There isn't a story as such which may not be to everyone's liking but perhaps a person who is grieving may recognise some of the feelings Michael Rosen is trying to portray.

The Two of Us My Life with John Thaw : Sheila Hancock ISBN 0-7475-7020-5

A biography and autobiography which is written in an easy to read style, she covers their lives, his last illness and is very candid about the first year of her bereavement. She includes poems and other writing that she found helpful in the months after her husband's death.

Helping Children Cope with Grief - Rosemary Wells ISBN 085969559X
A book for adults describing how children of various ages react to the death of a loved one. This would be a useful reference to dip into. The section concerning problems that maybe encountered at school is especially helpful.

Books for young children

The Day the Sea Went Out and Never Came Back - Margot Sunderland, Nicky Armstrong (Illustrator) ISBN-13: 978-0863884634

It a simple story, Eric is a sand dragon who loves the sea very much. Each day, he watches it going out and coming back and he loves to play in the water, but one day, the sea goes out and does not come back. Eric waits and waits, but it does not return, he falls on the sand in terrible pain, he has lost everything. After many bleak days, Eric sees a little wild flower, it is dying. Eric knows he must save it, with the help of a friendly dog he finds water. More flowers appear and so they start to make a beautiful rock pool, as Eric does this, he finds the courage to feel the full pain of his loss. He realises that his memories of his precious sea are like a special kind of treasure in his mind, a treasure he will never lose. The story ends hopefully as all his friends come to enjoy his special rock pool.

The story can be used for any loss or bereavement and though it is a picture book and appears initially to be suitable only for small children the themes it examines are also relevant for much older children.

Badgers Parting Gifts - Susan Varley ISBN 0688027032
Badger is old and knows he is going to die soon. When he does, the other animals think they will be sad forever, but they begin to talk about the memories they have of the things Badger taught them and learn to cope with his death. A lovely picture book that emphasizes the importance of remembering the person who has died (Review from Winston's Wish)

Goodbye Mog - Judith Kerr ISBN 0007149697

When Dinosaurs Die - Louise Krasney Brown & Marc Brown ISBN 0316119555
This factual picture book uses cartoon dinosaurs to illustrate the text and to ask questions and comment on what is said. It is a bright and colourful book that explains death in a simple and unthreatening way. It covers many issues including "why does someone die?", "feelings about death" and "˜saying goodbye". It would be an excellent resource for anyone caring for young children.(Review from Winston's Wish)

I Miss You - Pat Thomas ISBN 0764117645
A picture book but it deals with complex ideas so may also be helpful for older children. It deals with the feelings of grief and the ritual of funerals but ends hopefully.